Abiding: Why the Order of Things Changes Everything

What if the exhaustion you're feeling isn't a sign that you need to work harder — but that you've been doing things in the wrong order?

You're working hard, raising your kids, running a free Uber service, working as a short order cook. By all accounts, you are successful. But maybe you are exhausted, you feel empty, and you are hoping that your next vacation, promotion, or purchase will finally help you feel settled. And yet, you know it won't. This life of striving and achievement is a sham.

If you relate in any way, this is for you. It's time to change the order of things.

The Order of Things Matters More Than You Think

We all know that order matters in everyday life. Toothpaste before water. Socks before shoes. Peanut butter before jelly. But it goes deeper than that. We all order our lives in some way — and the order we choose shapes everything.

Over the next two weeks, we're talking about two of the most important things you can experience: your proximity to Jesus and your priority of Jesus. But this isn't my idea. Let's hear it directly from Jesus himself.

In John 15:1-5, Jesus says:

"I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn't produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."

When "Follow Me" Became Something Deeper

Throughout his ministry, from the moment he called his first disciples, Jesus used the phrase follow me. When he said that to the fishermen and the tax collectors and the people gathered to hear him teach, it was a literal invitation — lay down what you are doing, put off the old ways, and follow Jesus as he traveled to teach and preach.

But as the end of Jesus' life draws near, the invitation remains — Jesus just says it a little differently.

In John 15:5, the word Jesus uses is the Greek word meno — pronounced men-o. It means to stay, remain, or continue. One translation uses this word: abide. And this one really resonated with me, mainly because it's not a word we use every day.

I grew up in the day when our parents left us in the car to run into the store. The instruction was the same every time: stay here. That has a clear meaning. But the context in John 15 is a little different. That's why I think abide gets at the heart of it. It has a more positive connotation. It says something about nearness and togetherness.

You're Already Abiding in Something

Here's maybe the best news of all: you are already doing it. You abide in something.

In his book Practicing the Way, John Mark Comer puts it this way: "Jesus isn't asking you to do something you're not already doing. All of us are abiding. The question isn't, Are you abiding? It's, What are you abiding in?"

What has your time? Your energy? Your affection? This is what you are abiding in. John 15 isn't about adding something new — it's about redirecting what we already do. This is a recalibration.

All too often we boil down our relationship with Jesus into things we need to do and rules we need to follow. But Jesus is as clear as day that it's more about who we are with. To abide with Jesus is to stick close, to stay in his proximity. It's not a quick visit. It's not checking in once a week. It's staying close enough that His life begins to shape yours.

And here's the promise Jesus makes: when you abide in Jesus, he abides in you. Jesus doesn't simply invite us to stay with Him — He promises to stay with us. Abiding is a shared relationship.

What Abiding Actually Does in Your Life

Sticking with Jesus changes you. How? Jesus tells us directly.

In John 15:7-9, He says: "But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father. I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love."

This is the impact of nearness. People who stay with Jesus become like Jesus.

Do you wonder how you are doing? It all comes down to who you are becoming. Does your life look the same today as it did last week, last month, last year?

And I know what you might be thinking: is abiding just sitting still? Is it the same as when your parents left you in the car and said "stay put?" The answer is no — that's not it at all. Abiding is not passive. I would say it like this: abiding is cooperating with the grace of God at work in your life.

How Can You Tell If You're Abiding?

Maybe some of these resonate:

• You have a growing sense of God's presence

• You find joy in things the world can't offer

• You are in the process of becoming

• You are less comfortable with sin

British theologian Lesslie Newbigin summarizes it this way: "Abiding is the continually renewed decision that what has been done once for all by the action of Jesus shall be the basis, the starting point, the context for all my thinking and deciding and doing."

Putting It Into Practice

The order of things matters. Before the striving, before the achieving, before the next vacation or promotion you're hoping will finally make you feel settled — there is an invitation from Jesus to simply stay close to Him.

This week, ask yourself honestly: What am I abiding in? Where is your time, energy, and affection actually going? Then take one small step to redirect that toward Jesus — whether that's opening your Bible, spending a few quiet minutes in prayer, or simply acknowledging His presence as you go through your day.

The fruit in your life doesn't come from trying harder. It comes from staying connected to the vine.