When You've Failed and Think There's No Coming Back: What Jesus Asked Peter

Have you ever watched one of those Epic Fail videos online — the ones where someone confidently runs full speed into a glass door they thought was open, or tries to jump off their roof into a pool? When I watch those, I have so many questions... like "Why?" "What were you thinking?" and sometimes, "What's wrong with you?"

But here's the thing — we all have our own epic fail moments. Not the funny kind you'd post online, but the ones you wish you could erase forever.

We All Have Moments We Wish We Could Take Back

We all have moments where we ignored warnings. Moments where we did the very thing we swore we'd never do. When we fail the Lord or someone we love, we can experience embarrassment, guilt, or shame. Maybe you've had a moment like that — where you messed up so badly you felt like there was no coming back from it. Recovering from that kind of failure is tough. We ask ourselves all the same questions: "What was I thinking?" "What's wrong with me?" "How could I mess up so badly?"

This morning, we're going to look at one of those moments — and what Jesus did in the middle of it.

Meet Peter: All In, Then All Out

In John 21:15-17, Jesus asks one of His closest followers — a man named Peter — a question that cuts right to the heart. But before we get to the question, you need to know a little about Peter.

Peter was a fisherman. One of the first times we see him, he's fishing on the Sea of Galilee when Jesus tells him to cast his net on the other side of the boat. They pull in a gigantic, miraculous catch of fish. Peter falls at Jesus' feet, and it's right there on that shore that Jesus first says to him, "Follow Me." Peter wasn't some casual follower who drifted in and out of Jesus' orbit. He left everything behind. He spent three years walking with Jesus, learning from Him, and witnessing His miracles. Peter was passionate, committed, and all in. Peter loved Jesus.

In fact, when Jesus told His disciples they would all stumble on the night He was betrayed, Peter confidently declared, "Even if everyone else falls away, I never will."

And then, within hours, Peter did the very thing he swore he would never do. Three times he denied Jesus. Not once. Not twice. Three times. The follower who promised unwavering loyalty wouldn't even admit that he knew Jesus.

Jesus Meets Peter in the Place of His Deepest Regret

In John 21, some days after Jesus' resurrection, Peter and some of the disciples are back on the Sea of Galilee — fishing. They're out all night and catch nothing. Then Jesus appears on the shore. He tells them where to cast their net, and they pull in 153 fish. Peter realizes it's the Lord, jumps out of the boat, and swims to shore.

Sound familiar? This is exactly where it all began for Peter.

When the disciples arrive on shore, Jesus has a charcoal fire going and is making them breakfast. John's gospel only mentions a charcoal fire twice — once here, and once at the scene of Peter's denial. Have you ever smelled something and been immediately transported back to a moment in your life? A campfire, a perfume, fresh-cut grass? That's Peter sitting around this fire. The smell would have taken him right back to the night he denied Jesus.

Jesus intentionally meets Peter in the place of his deepest regret — because that's where He intends to restore him.

The Question Jesus Asked — and the Ones He Didn't

With memories of his first encounter with Jesus flooding back, and the reminder of his failure right there in the smell of that fire, Jesus gets down to business. Here's what John 21:15-17 tells us:

"After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?' 'Yes, Lord,' Peter replied, 'you know I love you.' 'Then feed my lambs,' Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' 'Yes, Lord,' Peter said, 'you know I love you.' 'Then take care of my sheep,' Jesus said. A third time he asked him, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, 'Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Then feed my sheep.'"

Three questions. Three denials. Jesus was taking Peter back to the very place of his failure — not so Peter would live there, but so he could be healed there.

Notice the Questions Jesus Didn't Ask

Think of all the questions Jesus didn't ask that we would have. "How could you?" "Why did you do this to me?" Jesus doesn't ask a single one of them. He boils the whole conversation down to the one thing that matters most: "Do you love me?"

It's not that Peter's failure didn't matter or that it didn't sadden the Lord. But it shows us that Jesus isn't willing to let failure stand between Him and a relationship with us. He died for our sin and failure and all the guilt and shame that comes with it.

Jesus emphasizes that the foundation of following Him isn't about obligation, performance, or perfection — but love and relationship.

Love First, Then Everything Else

So often we reverse the order. We assume that if we serve enough, obey enough, volunteer enough, or perform well enough, God will be pleased with us. We build our relationship on activity rather than affection.

But Jesus starts somewhere else. He starts with love.

Jesus doesn't say, "If you love me, then I have an assignment for you." He essentially says, "Because you love me, feed my sheep." The service matters. The mission matters. The calling matters. But they all flow out of a relationship with Him. Love is the root from which everything else grows.

Peter's life had come crashing down, and in this moment, Jesus clears all the rubble and says, "Let's start again — and remember, it's about love."

Your Story Isn't Over

Peter thought his story was over. He thought his future was fishing, because he had failed. But Jesus told him — no. Your future is faithfulness.

Then Jesus said the same two words He spoke on that same shore years before: "Follow me" (John 21:19).

I love that Jesus was making them breakfast in this moment. It reminds me of Psalm 23:5, where David wrote that the Lord "prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies." The Lord prepares a table in the presence of our enemies — even when the enemy is us. Even when we are our own worst enemy.

Peter thought his story was over. The same Jesus who restored Peter still restores people today. The place of your greatest failure does not have to be the end of your story.

Putting It Into Practice

Run toward Jesus, not away from Him. Just like Peter ran toward Jesus on the shore, Jesus wants you to run to Him — to experience forgiveness, restoration, and a new beginning. Not based on how good or bad you're doing, but based on His love for you.

Check the order. Are you trying to earn God's approval through service and performance? Start with love and relationship first. Let everything else flow from there.

Let Jesus bring you back to the beginning. Maybe you need a fresh start — to go back to where it all began with you and Jesus. He's whispering to your heart right now: "Do you love Me?... Follow Me."

Jesus is the God of second and third and fourth chances. His grace is available to you right now.